Will I be ALONE forever?

I know I know. I gotta get better. Trust me I've thought about writing numerous times. I'm really trying to get my life in order right now. My house, car and a tiny bit of my life are a mess.

Anyway, I've been dating the African for about 4 months and unfortunately I don't think he's the one for me. He is very thoughtful, affectionate and caring but I don't think he's the one. I tried something new, a little chubby, bad teeth and a lack of interest in sports but it ain't working! While he's smart he doesn't know A LOT of shit. I have close friends that told me that maybe I'm being too hard because I read a lot from pop culture to Eastern European politics but some shit I just feel you should have a little knowledge on. But my biggest pet peeve is I think he's a tad needy. I know I'm really independent and maybe to my detriment but I feel like he NEEDS a lot. I'll give you an example. A few weeks ago my girl was throwing her boyfriend a party. In order for the party to be a success I had to go over early(as soon she left to take him out) set up, let the dj in and just be the point person. After everything was set up I ran home showered grabbed the jello shots I made and went back. My name and phone number were on the Evite so people were calling me like crazy with "I'm running late, Is he there yet,Where do I park etc?" So after the surprise went off without a hitch and people were eating and dancing. Afro-Bx was there with a few of his friends and a lot of my friends were there. Everyone was mingling etc. I was talking but I was also making sure the liquor stayed flowing and just being a hostess. A few times some men came over and said how nice of a party it was and how they knew the birthday boy. Nothing out of line. At 2:30 Afro-Bronx said he was leaving and asked me if I was coming. I was like No. I told S I'd help her clean up etc. Then I said I'll see you tomorrow. He said cool. By the time we cleaned up and got everything together it was close to 4. A few of my friends that live in Jersey came to my house and we had a few more cocktails and chit chatted. On my way to my house I tried to call Afro Bx but of course he was sleep. Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. He and I had a conversation and this dude told me he was mad by the way I acted act the party. Arruuuuu? What? He said I didn't introduce him to some of the dudes that came up to me. Umm what? I didn't know them they were coming up saying it was a nice party blah blah blah. I was like dude it wasn't date night. I was running around being a hostess. Y'all I wasn't being disrespectful. Not one time was I anywhere near him when people were coming up to me. What was I supposed to say. "Please walk to the back of the patio with me so I can introduce you to the dude I date even though I don't know you."

The kicker for me was when he told me that it was problematic that my friends came over to my house! Bitch what? Are you fucking serious? Then he gives me a scenario about if he was helping his boy out and I came to the party with my friends then left and he decided to have an impromptu gathering at his house with his friends how would I feel. I said I wouldn't feel any type of way. I left. You chilled longer with your people and so what!

I'm a firm believer of chilling with your friends and having relationships outside of the person you're seeing. Those were your friends before me they should be your friends during and after. We don't have to intertwine our friends all the time. Sometimes you just want to talk and bug out with your people!

At the end of the day I need to be with someone who let's Shell be Shell.

Y'all I think I may be alone forever! Thoughts?

Straight gettin' peeps

As most know I live in NYC. Brooklyn to be exact. I live in an area of Brooklyn that a lot of gentrification has occurred. BUT there is still a slight hood element. There are still bodegas where dudes hang out in front and try to holla every morning and dudes selling cigarettes( I guess you have to sell them cheap since a pack of Newports is dayum near $11). Besides the bodegas and west indian restaurants there are two medium sized grocery stores. I rarely go into these stores because I feel like they take advantage of the people in the neighborhood who don't have transportation or don't feel like hopping on the train to a major store and take a cab home.

So, yesterday after work. I had moved my car and got Totti positioned for the supposed storm that's coming tomorrow. I thought I need eggs. I love breakfast so I don't like to be without eggs. I decided to go to Associated since I don't patronize the other grocery store due to the fact they don't honor their price tags. Y'all I've seen it happen before but my goodness the price differential between this grocery store and the three stores I normally go to (Pathmark,Trader Joe's and Fairway--step below Whole Check) was insane! Yes a few things were cheaper but on average the prices were ridiculous! I love the Simply Limeade or Simply Raspberry Lemonade. At Pathmark it's usually like $3.29 but at Fairway it's always $2.79. Do you guys know at Associated the shyt was $4.89!!! A whole TWO dollars more! GTFOH!! Yeah, I could have bought it but on GP's sake I just couldn't do it. So, I walked out of there with some eggs, organic spring mix(which was cheap) and some cut up chicken for Curry(cheap...lots of west indians around). Also for a carton of medium eggs they were $2.29. I'm used to buying them at Trader Joe's for $1.79 but at Pathmark they're around the same price as the the rip off neighborhood grocery store!

I know I am blessed that I don't HAVE to shop at these stores. I have transportation to get to the other grocery stores and even if I didn't have my car. I still have enough money to take the train to the store and take a taxi home. It pisses me off that these stores charge this exuberant amount of money for their goods. Let me add that I was super surprised that their produce was very economical and it looked fairly fresh. I wish the neighborhood would take charge and demand change. This shyt is unacceptable,sad and downright pisses me off!

A few reasons why we're at 16.5%

I was looking at the unemployment stats and it says that the unemployment rate is 9.7% BUT for blacks the unemployment rate is 16.5%!! It's historical that blacks have always had a higher rate of unemployment compared to the rest of America but this is just ridiculous. It's almost double. I know we're barely coming out of a recession but that number is unacceptable. I think I have a few reasons why a few of my people are unemployed.

My people when you get a call for an interview at a MAJOR investment bank please dress accordingly. I don't care if it's in the mailroom,cafeteria, administrative assistant or lawyer. PUT ON A DAMN SUIT! It doesn't have to be an Armani suit but wear a suit. Women if you decide to wear a skirt please make sure I can't see the dimples in your ass! That's what they make Spanx for. Comb your damn hair and tame down the weave. Leave the excess perfume at home and for the love of God cut your damn monster claws down and paint them a normal damn color. People don't want to see nails 4 inches long with nail art.

I know some people are not raised to know what is appropriate wear etc but I think you have no excuse when you're over 25 and I don't care what your family life was like. If you can text, tweet and look on the internet you can Google what's appropriate wear to an interview.

One of my close girlfriends is a Senior Manager at a biotech firm. Her area is all of NYC,Long Island and Northern Jersey. She has 6 reps under her and NOT one black. During the interview process she always interviews black because like my profession their aren't a lot of US. BUT she hasn't been able to hire a single black person because of straight foolishness. People coming completely unprepared for the interview, inappropriately dressed, not knowledgable on the subject matter and of course LATE! The last dude she interviewed was ONE HOUR late. So after the dude interviewed with the other members of her team. She called him in and asked him if he thought it was appropriate to come to an interview an hour late and dude was like I thought it was at this time and she said how when I sent you a confirmation email and you confirmed. She told him how she just couldn't hire him because he would be a reflection of her.

The few things I listed are some of the reason that black people are unemployed. These reasons are NOT the only reasons but they damn sure are some of them. Oh yes and please stop putting your kids at a disadvantage with names like Quay'Kanisha, J'Terria, Mu'Funkay and Quaku. I know we like to be different but make the middle name different!

I think as a whole we can do better. Not because Obama is President but because we should want to do better for ourselves. Yes, this is a recession, times are hard, companies aren't hiring like they used to BUT you need to fight for that position. Remember if a white person is giving 100% we need to give %125!

Lies Lies Lies

How do you get past the fact that someone extremely close to you lied? In my opinion there's nothing worse than a liar and a thief.

My bf thinks I'm blowing this a little out of proprotion but understands where I'm coming from. I've been going through this for the past six days and I need to make a decision if I want this person in my life or to just walk away. I've been told that if I just walk away that I'm making a mistake. Hmmm would I be making a mistake? It would be a decision I have to live with. If I made it i'd be ok with it. I'm not going to waver back and forth on it. I'm just trying to figure out am I being extra. Will this happen again? I know why it happened but I don't think a lie needed to be told. Ahhh decisons decisions.

Laptop woos...

I don't have much to say except that I'm PISSED AS HELL because my laptop is dead! I feel naked! I don't know how I'm going to make it through the week! I know I can read blogs at work but I like to read at night on the couch! UHHHHHHHHH!