Ninety days of me!!

I guess I run in three month increments. LOL! Last time I posted was in December and today I'm talking about something that is three months away. Exactly THREE months from today(June 28) I will be be 40! Yup, 40 y'all. According to most folks I don't look a day over 30! Yay me!! For some reason I'm not too freaked out by it. Yeah, I'm NOT married(and have NO prospects) I don't have ANY kids because I'm NOT married. And I have NOT finished my MBA. But with those three negatives I'm good with my life. It hasn't gone exactly the way I planned but it has gone the way it was supposed to go. These next three months are going to be completely dedicated to ME! I will be hitting the streets a little more,traveling and doing anything I want(what's new)! Oh yeah I'm also running my first half marathon on April 15(I will go more in detail about that in another post). So I'm putting everyone on notice for these next three months! It's all about ME! If y'all are in NYC on June 23 hit me up and come to my party!

I Know How She Feels

Hello! Hello out there! I know it's been nine months. Hell in that amount of time I could have pushed out a kid! I DID NOT do that by the way. I don't know what happened. Summer,my birthday and one too many happy hours! I've had so much to say too!
One story in particular has brought me back to blogland. I don't know if y'all have heard about this story but when I read it it reminded me of my own childhood especially since it's about 40 miles from where I grew up.

Tyra Batts is the ONLY black girl on her basketball team at Kenmore East High School(about 10 miles outside of Buffalo, NY). This is her first year on the team. For the past few years the team would ask the coach to leave so they could have a team "prayer." This prayer consisted of a chant that said, "1,2,3 Niggas" Tyra objected to this chant, telling the other girls it's an offensive term. These girls looked at her and said it wasn't geared towards her and they're not racist. The next day one of the very same girls who said she wasn't racist and took part in the chant called Tyra a "black piece of shit." Tyra did not do anything at that point and waited till Monday and punched the girl. Tyra was automatically given a five day suspension until administrators found out what started the fight. Both girls were given a two day suspension. The remainder of the team has to serve a one game suspension. The game that was to occur today was postponed(it was against my old high school). Also they have to undergo cultural sensitivity and the superintendent gave back the leadership award the school received.

This story touched me because I KNOW what it's like to be the only black girl in the class room and on a team. I grew up about 40 miles away from where this occurred. I've been called Nigger by mostly boys but some girls did try and get brave and yell it from a car but I found out who they were and an ass beating ensued. I don't condone violence but it's how we had to handle some shit. I was the whoop ass, ask questions later type chick. I let it be known as early as 2nd grade I wasn't standing for that type of shit. It just was NOT going to go down in front of me. NO ONE on any team I played on would ever be so brazen to blatantly disrespect me with me standing there. It just wasn't going to happen.

We as black people really need to curtail the use of the N word ESPECIALLY in front of white people. Most of these young girls didn't think there was anything wrong with using it because they hear it said by so many of us as a term of endearment. I don't think the word should be used by us but I DEFINITELY don't want to hear it out of the mouths of white people! I heard it one too many times in my younger years and had one too many fights.

We have to do better y'all!
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/high-school-suspends-basketball-players-for-offensive-chant/6cxiu1q

Bitchassness

I've been living in NYC more specifically Brooklyn for the past 5.5 years. I moved her from Houston via DC via Richmond via Houston! I moved a lot and I grew up outside of Buffalo and went to college in NYC. I have some gripes about living here but my one MAJOR one is the cattyness I seen amongst women. It's too damn much.

When I was 18 and came here to school I noticed that a lot of the women I met from NYC were catty. I chalked it up to being young and dumb. But damn near 20 years later as a grown ass adult I've seen it a few times and I have to wash my hands of it. When I lived in Houston I had a group of girls I was friends with. Two of them are my closest friends to this day. Sure we got into disagreements but it didn't affect the friendship. We aired out our differences and kept it moving. When I lived in DC I met some great friends(men and women). If we ever had a disagreement on something we aired out our differences and again kept it moving. I remember one time me and my girl K got into an argument in the car as we were headed out to the club. We were yelling back and forth. We pulled up to the spot and both stopped and said "how's my makeup?" LMAO! It was just, that an argument. That's what FRIENDS have sometimes. She would call me on my bullshit and I would do the same to her. It didn't end our friendship or make us act catty towards each other. I knew if she needed anything I would be there for her and ivce versa. Everyone does NOT agree on everything. It's life.

I called a supposed "friend" on their bullshit a couple of weeks ago and it turned into a big ass blowout. I wasn't wrong either and I held my ground. I told the person it doesn't matter but the behavior was rude and I'm over it. I had to let her know I peeped her shit. Of course it keeps going. The next weekend she has a get together along with her roommate(who had NOTHING to do with it) and does not invite me but invites all the people I have introduced her to. That shit to me is catty and I want NO part of it. I'm done with it and have washed my hands of it. To me you are definitely NOT my friend and I'm ok with it and I will act accordingly. That doesn't mean nasty or having attitude it means keeping the person at arms length.

This shit just proves my point that I've had since 2nd grade. I like to roll with men more. The girlfriends I do have I will treasure them forever and I'm sad that they don't live in NYC(although I have met a few genuine people here).

Have any of you witnessed catty ass shit amongst women?

Mad as Hell....

Lawd have mercy on me. I'm pissed the eff off right now! I'm planning my cousin's surprise 40th bday. He is my favorite cousin and we were practically raised together. He's 18 months older than me and like a brother. His sister is 9months younger than me and while he and I live in NYC she's a lawyer in Buffalo(where we're originally from).

Back in August I told her I wanted to throw S a surprise party she said yeah I'm down. I ONLY included her because that was the right thing to do. Y'all she's made this entire process a disaster. I LIVE IN NYC so I AM familiar with the places. Why is she trying to dictate where to have the party. She kept telling me 40/40 club. WHAT?? Are you effin serious? The mothereffin 40/40 Club. That place is a damn tourist trap. It's overpriced and wack as shit! My cousin does not want to be at a crowded ass club. He would want more of a lounge. I'm telling her all of this and this beyatch has the nerve and audacity to ask me if I was contributing any money? WHAT?? WHAT? IT WAS MY MOTHEREFFIN IDEA TO THROW YOUR EFFIN BROTHER A SURPRISE PARTY! I'M JUST COMING UP WITH IDEAS AND NOT GOING TO CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING! I was enraged at this. She has made this process miserable and I LOVE planning parties and gatherings.

We finally come to an agreement on where to have it. I go and speak to the events planner and in the middle of negotiating two comped bottles of champagne, removing the cake cutting fee and getting another bottle for half price. Why did this chick go and email the dude and tell him to book a table for 6 people? I was so fricken pissed off that I had to race to the place to speak to the man in person. Since she did this via phone and he knew she didn't know the layout of the place he placed her stupid ass in the back corner. Meanwhile I wanted the couches in the front. In the end I got the couches but I'm still negotiating the other stuff. I have NO idea why she would book a table for 6 people when I have a list of at least 28 of his friends. Fast forward to this morning. I received an Evite from my cousin about this party. Y'all this was the worst invitation I've ever seen. It was the Poker one that had a deck of cards. WTF does that theme have to do with a SURPRISE 40th? It at least came from me and her but in the subject line she just had "Surprise 40th bday party" Surprise for WHO? She was sending this evite out to people she didn't know and the address was wrong, she had her phone number(umm why? You don't live in NYC so if someone is lost etc you can't guide them) and told people to be there at 9(it's NYC NO ONE is going to be there at 9). Here's the kicker she locked the guest list so you couldn't invite anyone. Hey dumbass I have all his coworkers emails! I text her and ask her if she could unlock so I can merge the contacts. And to have everyone be at the party at 10 and we'll bring my cousin at 10:45. Guess what? No response. Evite still locked. So, guess what I did. I created an Evite and sent it to all the people I had emails for. Yeah, it's petty but how was I going to get the information out to his coworkers and his friends that she doesn't even know. She invited five people from Buffalo and not a single person from NYC. WTF? So, I ordered custom M&M's with my cousin's Kindergarten picture and some cupcakes. I didn't ask her because I don't want it be an issue. I'm not asking her for half the money. This is on me. I can't take it. This is so damn ridiculous and it could have been so easy.

What would you guys have done?

Sidekick or Baby Mama?

I recently read the lastest edition of Haper's Bazarre. In it was an article with Savannah Brinson(the mother of LeBron James's children). There were a few things in the article that I found quite interesting.

One quote she had in the article was "I'm the mother of his children. I am not a baby mama. There's more to me than that." Hmmm really? For all of you that are single moms this is NOT directed toward you. I love marriage and family especially black marriages but when I see articles like this it burns me up. I feel like she's trying to rationalize her position in his life and it pisses me off. I don't think because you have a child you should marry the child's father because sometimes it just doesn't work like that. But to sit there and have two children by this man or any other man and be ok with just being his "sidekick" is not ok. Lebron isn't saying that he's going to ever marry her or that she is the one for me. In this article he states that she is his "sidekick." Arrruuu? Sidekick? Are you serious? The mother of his children is his "sidekick?" The thing that blows my mind is that she is ok with this. This is Lebron's statement "A person like myself needs a great sidekick and a person you can rely on no matter what the circumstances. And she is that, she's got my back and I love her for that." Once again I can't get past the sidekick part.

More and more black women are having children out of wedlock at a rate of nearly 70%. It makes no sense to continue doing this and have no intention on having a legal union. I know marriage IS NOT for everyone and I certainly don't expect women who have had a child from a man to just marry him because. This is focused to the ones who go out and have kids all willy nilly and NEVER having any intention to get married. I think women who do this are selling theirselves short. For those women who think that having a child will get the man to marry them are sadly mistaken too.

One part of the interview Savannah talks about being a role model to young women in her hometown of Akron. I don't get it. You were Lebron's highschool sweetheart who went on to have two children by him and will be paid for the rest of your life. She didn't go to college nor do anything else. I'm not knocking that she isn't nice(my hairdresser does her weaves and says she's the sweetest girl). But what are you showing these young women? To find a baller and have children and never get married and to be their "sidekick". STOP poppin' out babies to a man that doesn't think enough of you to give you a real status....WIFE!

What say you guys? Is being a sidekick better than a baby mama?

Jambalaya

My hair looks better but I still hate the length. It's right above my shoulders! I had a few tracks added so I wouldn't have to rock bangs. This stupid azz trick is going to end up costing me $950 because she doesn't know how to do hair. I wonder if I can turn her azz into the state or something! Must look into!

Hmmmm Tiki Barber so you think it's cool to leave your wife who is pregnant with twins for your blond intern who apparently babysat your other kids! NOT COOL! I don't think a judge will think it is either! Get ready to pay beyatch!

I ain't mad at you Oprah. Ms.Winfrey is leaving daytime talk next year to TAKEOVER the late night game on her own network. O is about to lock late night up. Bye bye Jay, Dave, Chelsea and whoever else is on at night! There's a new sheriff in town and her name is OPRAH! I love it!

Shout out to Tyki Nelworth. This young man overcame having his father die when he was 12. Being homeless and having his mom locked up the last two years. He's going to to West Point on a full ride! He said he couldn't let his circumstances hold him back and use that as an excuse not do to well! I think we can all learn from this young man.

Justice John Paul Stevens announced his retirement today. He said he wanted to do it during the Obama administration. Plus he'll be 90 in a few days. So we score another one on the Court! Thank goodness!

So Gov. McDonnell of Virgina is the first Gov in 8yrs to issue a proclamation declaring April as Confederate History Month. Something is VERY wrong with that! In his speech he mentioned NOTHING about slavery! How the eff can you talk about the Confederacy and not mention slavery? The President along with many Black elected officials in Va chastised him! Now he released a statement saying it was a HUGE error to not speak about slavery and he's sorry! Man forget that ish! You ain't sorry! You're a republican Governor in Virgina! GTFOH with that bs!

Just read that Garcelle Beuvais(Fancy from the Jamie Foxx show)put her husband on BLAST! She sent all his coworkers an email and in the subject line she wrote: Jesse James,Tiger Woods and Blank Nilon(can't remember his 1st name). She wrote how she just found out that her husband has been having an affair for the past 5 years with some skank from Chicago! WOW Garcelle! What's really hood? Keep that ish to yourself and just walk away and get the fat divorce settlement! Because God knows you ain't making any money! LOL!

I had a GREAT last weekend! Another dude keeps calling and asking me on a date but the date is always at a weird hour! I told him until he can make a date between the hours of 6-9 it ain't going to happen! Who the hell wants to meet at a coffee shop at 10:30pm! Yeah I get your all artsy fartsy and shyt but nah son!

Big up to Diggy Simmons(Rev Run's son) his song Made You Look is HOT! Too bad his older brother doesn't have the skills he has! He dropped some jewels!

My highschool reunion is this year. I'm going but I'm not that excited about seeing sooo many of "The Others!" Oh well! It's only for a weekend in June and I get to see my parents! I think I might have to give a speech. They don't want to hear what I have to say....lol!

I have NO plans this weekend but to sit in the house and watch Precious and This is It and drink a few glasses of wine! It's only going to be 60 here so that's good! I know when it's 78 in Brooklyn every weekend I will be ghost! Too many fine men to look at! LOL! Have a good weekend people!

Don't forget to watch Treme on HBO Sunday night at 10! It's getting rave reviews! It's set in New Orleans three months after Hurricane Katrina. It follows a wide array of characters struggling to rebuild their lives after "The Storm." It's from the producer of The Wire and The Corner! I'm going to give it some love!

What's random with y'all?

Hair Repair

Insert major sad face here! Last Friday I went to get my hair highlighted and OMG it didn't go well. After 6hr 23min my hair was BLOND!! Umm didn't I only want highlights? It looked so horrible y'all that I just laughed and said I hate it to keep from crying. So, she had me come back the next day to tone it down. Before I went to the salon my homeboy came over and said what the eff happened to your hair? You look like Mufassa from the Lion King! He was like your hair color was nice before. He proceeded to tell me my hair looked ghetto as hell!

So, I go back to the salon and bring pictures and explain yet again what I want my hair to look like etc. Then I was just like make it all one color. I have no idea what the hell type of color she used but it was BURNING my damn scalp like a relaxer! At this point my hair looks a mess! So, she proceeds to tell me that she's used to working at an urban salon and most black women don't get their hair colored. WTF type of comment is that? WTF are you talking about? So, my mom, sister and MANY of my homegirls aren't black? No, chick you just don't know how to color hair. If you would have said that coloring is not my forte but I can cut and style. I would have said cool. Hell, I used to have a hairdresser in DC who couldn't style your hair worth a damn but was a color specialist. He knew his limitations! She knew she effed up because she said I'm not going to charge you. Yeah after you effed up my healthy ass hair!

At any rate. My hair is so damaged that it makes me sick to my stomach to look at it. My hair was healthy and shoulder length. I now have more than three inches of damage. The top of my hair is falling out, the hairline is dried out beyond belief. I have been deep conditioning and moisturizing like crazy but this damage is irreparable! She put bleach in my hair! So just last week at this time my hair was the length I wanted and healthy. Today at 3. I have to shell out beaucoup dollars to go to some expensive ass hair guru. I also have to get my hair cut probably into a chin length bob. I hate my hair short because I think it's too much maintenance. I like to go to the gym and throw my hair in a ponytail. My hair is so brittle I can't even have it weaved up!

I would post pictures but I'm just to disgusted right now.

Straight gettin' peeps

As most know I live in NYC. Brooklyn to be exact. I live in an area of Brooklyn that a lot of gentrification has occurred. BUT there is still a slight hood element. There are still bodegas where dudes hang out in front and try to holla every morning and dudes selling cigarettes( I guess you have to sell them cheap since a pack of Newports is dayum near $11). Besides the bodegas and west indian restaurants there are two medium sized grocery stores. I rarely go into these stores because I feel like they take advantage of the people in the neighborhood who don't have transportation or don't feel like hopping on the train to a major store and take a cab home.

So, yesterday after work. I had moved my car and got Totti positioned for the supposed storm that's coming tomorrow. I thought I need eggs. I love breakfast so I don't like to be without eggs. I decided to go to Associated since I don't patronize the other grocery store due to the fact they don't honor their price tags. Y'all I've seen it happen before but my goodness the price differential between this grocery store and the three stores I normally go to (Pathmark,Trader Joe's and Fairway--step below Whole Check) was insane! Yes a few things were cheaper but on average the prices were ridiculous! I love the Simply Limeade or Simply Raspberry Lemonade. At Pathmark it's usually like $3.29 but at Fairway it's always $2.79. Do you guys know at Associated the shyt was $4.89!!! A whole TWO dollars more! GTFOH!! Yeah, I could have bought it but on GP's sake I just couldn't do it. So, I walked out of there with some eggs, organic spring mix(which was cheap) and some cut up chicken for Curry(cheap...lots of west indians around). Also for a carton of medium eggs they were $2.29. I'm used to buying them at Trader Joe's for $1.79 but at Pathmark they're around the same price as the the rip off neighborhood grocery store!

I know I am blessed that I don't HAVE to shop at these stores. I have transportation to get to the other grocery stores and even if I didn't have my car. I still have enough money to take the train to the store and take a taxi home. It pisses me off that these stores charge this exuberant amount of money for their goods. Let me add that I was super surprised that their produce was very economical and it looked fairly fresh. I wish the neighborhood would take charge and demand change. This shyt is unacceptable,sad and downright pisses me off!

So, this is how the dating scene is now?

My month of dating has been HORRIFIC I mean dayum what is wrong with these dudes. So, I met two seemingly nice men. Professional, handsome seem like they might be cool. Dude 1, let's call him Light Skin. He seemed cool. We met, he called we exchanged a few emails then he asked me out for dinner and drinks. Good conversation, handsome, fun, witty. Then after that I constantly got hit with the text messages. "What's up?", "You watching the game?" Ummm dude are you not 35 why are you CONSTANTLY texting me? His reply was well I don't like to talk on the phone a lot. I'm better in person. Ok. Yeah but how are you going to see me in person again if all you do is text. He said I was going to text you to go out with me again! *DEAD* Oh word. Don't waste your time because my answer would be NO! I'm a grown azz woman and when I really don't know you. Texting is NOT a good form of communication! WTF? So, we had this convo and he waits a week and decides to text me again like it's ok. That's when I lost it! AFTER I had to tell him about himself via text. He decides to call me and say do you want to come out for drinks and stay at my house? Arrruuuuuuuuuu? WHAT?? It's 10:30 the night of the NFC Championship game and you think it's ok to ask me to come out for drinks AND stay at your house when I've only had ONE date with you. After I cussed his azz out with everything I had. He said I was just saying that since you'd be in the city! Mothereffer what? BYE and don't EVER call me again!
Dude 2, let's call him PA(he's an Physician's Assistant). The night I met him we had good conversation he seemed cool although a tad bit sheltered to be 38 but I still decided to give him a chance. The next evening this dude TEXT me and said "Thinking about you." Uhh word? That's nice and all but you spoke to me for 20 min and now you send me a text saying thinking about you! WEIRDO! So, I never responded to that text because I was in the middle of Walmart and then I just forgot about it. So, fast forward to Thursday this fool sends me a text "Good Morning" I text back and say the same thing. Later that evening he sends YET ANOTHER text that says" I tried to reach out to you several days ago. Hopefully I'll see you soon." What?? He sent me a text that morning. So, I kindly text him back and say that he text me that morning and I responded and this fool tried to get smart and say "Sorry hon, this is Darryl I haven't heard from you. I was like "shall I forward you YOUR text?" Then he says "Oh yes, sorry." Of course I text him back and asked him if he found it appropriate to text a woman he's never had a conversation with. And if his first line of communication is always text and how I found that to be young and not becoming of a grown azz man. He said some other dumb shyt and that's when I said dude lose my number.

I know we're in 2010 but c'mon. Do men really think it's okay to have the first line of communication via text? My 20 year old nephew who has grown up in the digital era even calls girls after he meets them. What's wrong with expecting 30+ year old men to do the same! The Teacher is looking better and better to me! Dang!

Staying for paper

I said I wouldn't write about this whole Tiger shyt but I have to. A few of my girlfriends and one of their mothers had a discussion about this last night. I said maybe I could stay if he had an affair with one woman. While I would be hurt and upset I would MAYBE try and work on my marriage. I can't answer yes or no one way or the other because I'm not married and I think you have much more to lose in a marriage then when it's just a boyfriend/girlfriend.

But damn 10 women have now come out saying they had escapades with him. One of them saying she was the side chick when he was just dating Elin. She says Tiger told her that the marriage was just for his "image." I'm sure some of that is true. His image is or shall I say was scripted so well. I think white America embraced him so much because he didn't come out and say he was black. Instead he said some stupid azz shyt about being "Caublasian." Newsflash Tiger, mainstream America sees black!! Let's get that straight. You're not the lightest dude. Do you really think these wealthy white people wanted you at THEIR country club. Nah son, it just so happens that you're a hell of a golfer.

According to the reports I read that Tiger and Elin had a prenup for a 10yr period and she would get 20-25mil. Now since this happened Tiger's lawyers have sweetened the deal saying if Elin stays for two more years(which will total to 7 years of marriage) she'll get 55mil but if she walks now she'll only get 25mil.Hell that's a come up for her she was a damn nanny! So, the discussion me and my friends had was would you stay for the additional 30mil. MY answer would be NO! Like I stated above if it was one woman...maybe. Everyone is human and people make mistakes but I'm still not sure if I would forgive. BUT 10 have come forward....hell naw! That shyt is just disrespectful! One of these chicks being a porn star! NOPE! Another of them is a waitress at Perkins(for those you who don't know that restaurant it's like a hillbilly IHOP with better food. There's one in the city I grew up in). I would take the 25mil and be gone. That money is HERS! He will provide for his kids, they'll go to the best schools, have a nice azz house(s) with all the amenities. I'm taking it and running. TO ME the extra 30mil doesn't matter! My self respect does.
What say you. Would you take the 25mil now or wait for 2 more years and get the 55mil?

Extra:Did y'all read the text message that said" I'm gonna tear you up!" Maaan that shyt cracks me up. Not saying it's impossible but all I imagine is Tiger's funny sounding voice saying that...lmao!! Oh and another chick said he's very well endowed and she would give the azz a 12 out of 1-10 scale! Well, I guess he tore her up! Bwaaaaaaaaaahahhahahahhahahah!

Word Sammy??

It appears that Sammy Sosa has pulled a Michael Jackson on us. According to his PR people he's saying that he underwent a rejuvenating process for his skin. Oh word and you come out looking like that. Umm I'd sue my dermatologist! WTF??

Attitude

I had an ex boyfriend who would always say "Your attitude determines your altitude." This quote makes so much sense to me. If you're going to have a stink azz attitude you're not going to get very far. Be it your job, relationships or life in general. I think all of us have needed a little bit of attitude adjustment. I know I have. My mom used to tell me as a child that "My mouth and attitude would over power my azz!" I still laugh about that to this day. Because not only did she tell me that but her hand or belt was stingin my azz!

Last week I was at the gym I was taking a strength and conditioning class. The instructor asked someone to please remove their IPod so they could hear the instruction and know the proper form to lift the weights etc. You would have thought the instructor told this chick that she was fat and ugly the way this chick carried on. She was snapping her head, rolling her eyes and sucking her teeth. Now was all that shyt necessary? He just asked you to remove your Ipod for HIS class. WTF? I speak to this lady at the gym and I've seen her have attitude with people before for no apparent reason. I also over heard her tell her girlfriend that she was no longer going to class because she missed to many and it didn't matter because her sleep did. Mind you she needs this class to keep her job. So her girl asked her what are you going to do? Attitude chick said umm I guess take it in January.
After I witnessed her attitude with the instructor and heard her say this. I thought of the quote "Your attitude determines your altitude." Because this chick can't go far in life with that attitude. I don't care if she's the smartest person on her team. Her promotions will be few and far in between.

It upsets me because she was black. I think as black people we can do better than that. The "man" isn't always trying to hold us back. With this stink azz attitude you're holding yourself back! I love my people and I want for us to do better as a whole but when you have a stink azz attitude you're not helping ANY of us! I'm far from perfect and I KNOW I can demonstrate major attitude but I also know when to check that shyt!

Do y'all know anyone who has a lot of potential but they're not going far in their job or relationships because of attitude?