Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Will I be ALONE forever?
I know I know. I gotta get better. Trust me I've thought about writing numerous times. I'm really trying to get my life in order right now. My house, car and a tiny bit of my life are a mess.
Anyway, I've been dating the African for about 4 months and unfortunately I don't think he's the one for me. He is very thoughtful, affectionate and caring but I don't think he's the one. I tried something new, a little chubby, bad teeth and a lack of interest in sports but it ain't working! While he's smart he doesn't know A LOT of shit. I have close friends that told me that maybe I'm being too hard because I read a lot from pop culture to Eastern European politics but some shit I just feel you should have a little knowledge on. But my biggest pet peeve is I think he's a tad needy. I know I'm really independent and maybe to my detriment but I feel like he NEEDS a lot. I'll give you an example. A few weeks ago my girl was throwing her boyfriend a party. In order for the party to be a success I had to go over early(as soon she left to take him out) set up, let the dj in and just be the point person. After everything was set up I ran home showered grabbed the jello shots I made and went back. My name and phone number were on the Evite so people were calling me like crazy with "I'm running late, Is he there yet,Where do I park etc?" So after the surprise went off without a hitch and people were eating and dancing. Afro-Bx was there with a few of his friends and a lot of my friends were there. Everyone was mingling etc. I was talking but I was also making sure the liquor stayed flowing and just being a hostess. A few times some men came over and said how nice of a party it was and how they knew the birthday boy. Nothing out of line. At 2:30 Afro-Bronx said he was leaving and asked me if I was coming. I was like No. I told S I'd help her clean up etc. Then I said I'll see you tomorrow. He said cool. By the time we cleaned up and got everything together it was close to 4. A few of my friends that live in Jersey came to my house and we had a few more cocktails and chit chatted. On my way to my house I tried to call Afro Bx but of course he was sleep. Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. He and I had a conversation and this dude told me he was mad by the way I acted act the party. Arruuuuu? What? He said I didn't introduce him to some of the dudes that came up to me. Umm what? I didn't know them they were coming up saying it was a nice party blah blah blah. I was like dude it wasn't date night. I was running around being a hostess. Y'all I wasn't being disrespectful. Not one time was I anywhere near him when people were coming up to me. What was I supposed to say. "Please walk to the back of the patio with me so I can introduce you to the dude I date even though I don't know you."
The kicker for me was when he told me that it was problematic that my friends came over to my house! Bitch what? Are you fucking serious? Then he gives me a scenario about if he was helping his boy out and I came to the party with my friends then left and he decided to have an impromptu gathering at his house with his friends how would I feel. I said I wouldn't feel any type of way. I left. You chilled longer with your people and so what!
I'm a firm believer of chilling with your friends and having relationships outside of the person you're seeing. Those were your friends before me they should be your friends during and after. We don't have to intertwine our friends all the time. Sometimes you just want to talk and bug out with your people!
At the end of the day I need to be with someone who let's Shell be Shell.
Y'all I think I may be alone forever! Thoughts?