Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Will I be ALONE forever?


I know I know. I gotta get better. Trust me I've thought about writing numerous times. I'm really trying to get my life in order right now. My house, car and a tiny bit of my life are a mess.

Anyway, I've been dating the African for about 4 months and unfortunately I don't think he's the one for me. He is very thoughtful, affectionate and caring but I don't think he's the one. I tried something new, a little chubby, bad teeth and a lack of interest in sports but it ain't working! While he's smart he doesn't know A LOT of shit. I have close friends that told me that maybe I'm being too hard because I read a lot from pop culture to Eastern European politics but some shit I just feel you should have a little knowledge on. But my biggest pet peeve is I think he's a tad needy. I know I'm really independent and maybe to my detriment but I feel like he NEEDS a lot. I'll give you an example. A few weeks ago my girl was throwing her boyfriend a party. In order for the party to be a success I had to go over early(as soon she left to take him out) set up, let the dj in and just be the point person. After everything was set up I ran home showered grabbed the jello shots I made and went back. My name and phone number were on the Evite so people were calling me like crazy with "I'm running late, Is he there yet,Where do I park etc?" So after the surprise went off without a hitch and people were eating and dancing. Afro-Bx was there with a few of his friends and a lot of my friends were there. Everyone was mingling etc. I was talking but I was also making sure the liquor stayed flowing and just being a hostess. A few times some men came over and said how nice of a party it was and how they knew the birthday boy. Nothing out of line. At 2:30 Afro-Bronx said he was leaving and asked me if I was coming. I was like No. I told S I'd help her clean up etc. Then I said I'll see you tomorrow. He said cool. By the time we cleaned up and got everything together it was close to 4. A few of my friends that live in Jersey came to my house and we had a few more cocktails and chit chatted. On my way to my house I tried to call Afro Bx but of course he was sleep. Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. He and I had a conversation and this dude told me he was mad by the way I acted act the party. Arruuuuu? What? He said I didn't introduce him to some of the dudes that came up to me. Umm what? I didn't know them they were coming up saying it was a nice party blah blah blah. I was like dude it wasn't date night. I was running around being a hostess. Y'all I wasn't being disrespectful. Not one time was I anywhere near him when people were coming up to me. What was I supposed to say. "Please walk to the back of the patio with me so I can introduce you to the dude I date even though I don't know you."

The kicker for me was when he told me that it was problematic that my friends came over to my house! Bitch what? Are you fucking serious? Then he gives me a scenario about if he was helping his boy out and I came to the party with my friends then left and he decided to have an impromptu gathering at his house with his friends how would I feel. I said I wouldn't feel any type of way. I left. You chilled longer with your people and so what!

I'm a firm believer of chilling with your friends and having relationships outside of the person you're seeing. Those were your friends before me they should be your friends during and after. We don't have to intertwine our friends all the time. Sometimes you just want to talk and bug out with your people!

At the end of the day I need to be with someone who let's Shell be Shell.

Y'all I think I may be alone forever! Thoughts?

12 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

Will you be alone forever? Absolutely not, but i know how you feel when you are wanting and needing that one. So sorry that the African is not him, but it is easier now to recognize that then later on. You are a young, beautiful, talented, so inspiring young lady that will indeed in time find and have that one. Trust me...live your life fully right now, and when the time is right, that 1 will be there! Hate that i didn't get to see you in NYC, but as i've told others there will be a next time :)

ShellyShell said...

Aww Miz. I didn't even know you were coming to NYC! Dang! Hopefully next time I'll get a chance to see you.

He's still around but deep down I know he's not the one. I think I new it all along but tried something new. As Jay Z says "on to the next one."

Not so Anonymous said...

You won't be alone forever, but I understand how sometimes it can feel that way...sigh.

Maybe the two of you have your communication wires crossed or ssomething, or maybe you're right and he's just not the one. Either way, your boo is coming and you better blog about it, lol.

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

I know it's frustrating, but sounds like ol boy just wasn't for you. You won't be alone forever. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and you'll be even happier when you finally meet your prince!

Great blog, btw. This is my first time here.

ShellyShell said...

@Strength/Courage/Wisdom
Thanks so much for stopping by! Please come back! Frustrating to say the least. He's cool but not the dude for me. I pretty much new this in the summer but still kept dating him. I liked the fact that he was fun,nice,respectful but we just weren't on the same page! ahhhhhh! Another one bites the dust!

chele said...

I admire the fact that you know what you want. You know what works for you and what doesn't. I used to date a guy who every time I was out with friends or co-workers I would get a million texts/phonecalls asking how much longer I was going to be. It got so frustrating that I just stopped hanging out. I started to resent the hell outta him and finally we broke up. But I should have been true to myself and stopped that nonsense much sooner.

I don't believe you will be alone forever. You just have to find the one that will allow you to be you.

12kyle said...

Will you be alone forever? Nah. Good women are hard to find. A man will recognize that.

I don't think this guy sounds like he's the one either. And that's ok. You should always be selective but never settle

Cami said...

like your blog! oh, and i watch jersey shore, too. guilty pleasure alert, lol.

Keith said...

Will you be alone forever? Definitely Not Shell...(I'm surprised you're alone now..)but all things come in due time! Hang in there..It does get better!

GurlNexxDoor said...

Nooooo, you will find someone worthy and allows shell to be shell--first time here love your blog!

Dee said...

This is very timely (well, I'm a few weeks late) b/c I am sorta ending ish with someone now and I hate the feeling of time wasted and having to start again at Level 1. You take lessons learned from these experiences and keep it moving, so that when you do meet "the one" (and you will) you will be good.

The F$%K it List said...

Will you be alone forever? NOPE you're a good woman and this was a dating situation. He's not right for you then you must move on, no settling for my girl Shells!