Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Feeling some kind of way

So some of you may know that I have an on off love affair with the Teacher. For those of you that are new. I give a brief recap of our relationship! He and I are very compatible on so many levels but he has some fears and issues he needs to work on in order for our relationship to be successful. He's an all around good dude, doesn't cheat, lie, rarely goes out or drinks.One of our main problem is he thinks that I have a smart azz mouth...which I do but I do try and work on it. And it irks the hell out of him but when he does shyt that makes NO sense to me I call him on it and sometime he sees it as me being a know it all. Also his family is soo emotionally draining on him that it leaves NO room for anything else. He's the youngest by 8 yrs and he acts like he's the oldest. His siblings act like they're helpless and can't do shyt! He feels an obligation to them because his mom passed away when he was 11 and his sister raised him but damn she's now 43 and she's a mess! Good job, NO money,drug addicted husband,22 year old daughter living in her house with her 2yro and her own 6yro daughter. The sister blames EVERYTHING on the husband but does NOTHING to try and make her life better! If I wrote everything y'all would tell me to just write a short story because that's what the eff it is! Anyway, The Teacher grew up in a very rough part of BK and never got in trouble earned a full basketball scholarship to Arizona State. He had a few tryouts with the Hawks and Jazz but through the physical examination found out he has a degenerative hip disorder so since his NBA dreams were smashed he went and played overseas for a few years and then came back when the hip problem became to bad to play! So that's why he's a teacher. But he loves it and is almost finished with his Master's in Education. I know I'm all over the place..lol! We took a big break last year and I went out with a couple other people but I always had the Teacher on my mind! We speak EVERYDAY. He is the first person I speak to in the morning and last one at night! He does anything thing for me and I do the same for him. We had a discussion and we both want to get back together but I think we're both unsure. He has abandonment issues due to his mom dying when he was so young and since he's so nice the last girl did a number on him. I hope I'm not making him sound like a punk because he's not! Far from it. He actually checks the hell out of me! LOL!

So, the reason I'm feeling some kind of way is. The Teacher has always wanted to coach at a collegiate level but he wanted to finish his Master's first. So, the first day of the NCAA tournament he's watching Texas Tech play on tv and sees his old assistant coach on the bench. He freaks out because he lost contact with him, so he goes on Texas Tech's website and finds him and sends him an email. Well dude responds saying how he's an assistant coach there blah blah blah. Fast forward to last Wednesday. Coach calls Teacher at 10:30am asking him if it's possible for him to get on a 9:30pm flight to interview Thursday morning at 9am with the head coach(who happens to be Bobby Knight's son). The Teacher calls me and tells me that he can't come out with me on Thursday because of this! I'm screaming into the phone. I'm so excited for him!! Because I know that this is a great opportunity for him! But when reality set in. I felt so sad because I know there's a possibility of him leaving! We've discussed how I wanted to leave NYC next year. While I love living here I can't afford to buy shyt but my damn apt. I grew up in a house and when I left Houston to come here I was living in a 5br 3000sq ft house! *sigh* Anyway it was always known that I was rolling in 2010 but now he might leave. I feel some kind of way! I think because the last two months we have really been putting in effort with each other! So, the interview went well and he finds out Friday if he will be part of Texas Tech's bball team! We haven't discussed this but I can tell that it has hit him the way it's hitting me! I know whatever happens happens. If we're supposed to be then we will be.

I know this post was all over the place but that's how I feel right now!

8 comments:

Aretha said...

Girl, it's not all over the place. It makes all the sense in the world. I've been in a very similar situation and it sucked. However, you're right, if it's meant to be it will all work out!

I hope you two don't let this stand in your way :)

Serenity3-0 said...

So I know I can look this up, but I don't feel like it right now. But what city in Texas is the school? Also, when you said you want to roll out in 2010, where are you rolling to?

ShellyShell said...

@Aretha All I can do is pray about it. What's going to happen will happen!

@Serenity Texas Tech is in Lubbock in the middle of NOWHERE!! It's closer to Amarillo. It's a 4hr drive to Dallas. I've lived in Houston on two seperate occasions but that's thinking way to far in advance! I need a ring...lol! I'm thinking about moving back to DC or try something new like Charlotte! I know at least 20 people who live there. It's still close enough for me to roll to DC, hop on flight to NYC of Buffalo to see my parents. Shyt or to Houston to see my bro or Dallas to see my sis although she may be moving to ATL! Ahh who knows! But as much as I love NYC I can't buy the type of house I want here!

The Jaded NYer said...

just when I get to know you you LEAVE?!?! *sobs*

awww... but hey- if it means good stuff for you and the teacher (I know I'm jumping the gun) that I guess I can be in your corner *sniffle*

ShellyShell said...

@Jaded I can't go anywhere till the damn economy gets better! I always gave myself 5 yrs here unless something could convince me to stay!

Serenity3-0 said...

That's actually one of the things I love about Charlotte. It's proximity to other cities that I like. I can drive to DC, ATL, etc. But my heart still has a special place for Dallas.

chele said...

Don't buy into that "if we're supposed to be then we will be" if you guys want it to be then you'll MAKE it be.

Keith said...

I always thought you were from New York City...didn't know you were from Houston. I can only imagine how you must feel right now with the thought of him leaving..Isn't life something? Just when everything is going good, it throws you a monkey wrench.If you two are meant to be ..you'll find a way to work this out. I'm not one who likes long distance relationships myself...but since you say you're returning to Texas anyway..maybe it won't be a long seperation.