I Keep Slippin...

Why do I keep talking to this man? In my post on January 7. I stated that me and The Teacher were over and it had to stop. I siad my heart and my head were both in the same place. I swear y'all that's what I think. If that's so true why did I go to dinner with him on Saturday evening? He called and asked me if I'd like to meet him at our favorite spot for dinner. I said sure! WTF??? I must say I wasn't all warm and fuzzy inside when I saw him but when we were about to sit and he took off his jacket! LAAAAAWD HAVE MERCY! His shoulders look so delicious and I know what was underneath that sweater. He works out all the time and his abs look like this.

I will say that I didn't even have the urge to rub up on his stomach. Because lawd knows I love touching that washboard! LOL! Anyway our dinner was cool and we had good conversation. Neither one of us brought up our seperation. I had no intention on talking about it because I wanted a casual dinner and didn't want to go to the F_uitlist's party in a bad mood. I went out on a date with some dude that showed a tiny bit of promise but that's a NO go(That's a story for another day), I'm still going to continue to keep my options open but can't help but be slightly curious about The Teacher and his actions!
He always tells me I'm his Nina and he's my Darrius. Could that be true?

My Goals for 2010

I FAILED miserably on my 2009 goals. Out of 9 goals I only accomplished 1! That shyt is unacceptable! These are goals to be and not resolutions. I just slacked all the way around. But this year will be different and I know this. I'm really going to hold myself accountable. So here are my goals that I will achieve this year:

1. Read the Bible- Like I stated last year. I found a program that guides you to read the Bible in 365 days. So, far it's going well. I will NOT fail at this one again this year. I have time to party then I have time to read the Bible.

2.Run 3 5k's- I had this on my goal list last year and you guessed it. I didn't do it! Laziness. PURE DAMN LAZINESS! It's not like I didn't work out. I just didn't train for the runs! But I will this year. I actually FEEL like running now. I'm starting to feel that competitive gene pop up!

3. Tithe more- I didn't do that. But like I said about the Bible. If I can go out and spend money on drinks and eating out. Surely I can tithe more.

4.Stick to my budget- I have several accounts. One of them is for down payment for my condo another is a vacation one another is emergency money. I need to stick to my guns about these budgets.

5. Take another big trip. Last year I went to Barcelona and Italy so this year needs to be somewhere just as fly. I know I'm going to Costa Rica for my birthday but I don't consider that a big trip! I'm thinking Greece!

6. Work on letting shyt go. Sometimes you just have to walk away from certain situations.

7. Work on having more patience. I'm a very impatient person and it shows in my attitude.

8. Try not to get mad when I think someone should be doing something. Not everyone handles things the way I would.

9. Keep volunteering. That's the one thing I did consistently last year. I'm still doing. I tutor a great teenager named Victor who's going to do big things in life! He's so smart!

10. STOP BEING A PROCRASTINATOR! This is MAJOR for me! I'm the worst. I wait to the last minute to do everything. I'm actively trying to stop that behavior!

A New Start

So, 2010 is finally here! I can remember when it was 1999 turning into 2000 and everyone was worried about Y2K(Nothing happened with that shyt).
I don't have any resolutions this year just goals. One of them is stop holding on to shit that's just not there. For the past 2.75 years me and The Teacher have gone back and forth. At one point we were exclusive then we broke up,tried to talk again then stopped. It was an ongoing cycle. The cycle has finally come to an end. Although it wasn't the way I had planned it has ended. The relationship finally seemed like it was getting better but alcohol,tone,words turned around and pent up frustations made it come to a crashing halt. It's sad that after almost 3 years it ended like this but what more can I do. The bringing up old shyt, using your words against you and not COMMUNICATING will eff up any relationship. It took me a long time to be at the place I'm at but I'm here. It's the first time that my head and my heart are in the same place.


I'm going to write my goals out in the next post. I just had to get this out.