Thursday, August 6, 2009

CONFIDENCE


Some have it some don't. I sometimes wonder why people lack confidence. Is it because they didn't have praise in their household growing up? Is it because they just doubt themselves? Or is it just because?

I think I've always been confident. Confidence and self-esteem were taught to me at a young age. Hell it had to be since I was the only black child in my Montessori class. From K-12 their may have been another black kid in my class here and there but once I got into high school barely any. If I ever would have lacked confidence this definitely would have been the time but I never did. People who knew me in my formative years have always told me that I had so much confidence in myself that it almost seemed like arrogance. I didn't know what to tell them then and I don't know what to them now! It's just how I was raised!

At some stage in your life I think everyone lacks confidence. I remember when I was 12 and I wanted to play ball that day. My mom took me to the park and said I'll be back in three hours. I looked at my mom like she was crazy. NO girls played at that park and all the boys that hooped there were at least 6 plus years older than me. My mom looked at me and said "Girl get out of my car. If you want to get better you play with the boys and play hard!" I got out of my car with my ball and slowly moved toward the court as I did this I watched my mom pull off. I so wanted to run away. I saw my brother's best friend who was 12 years older than me and he was like "You gonna run today?" I said "I guess." I got on the court and could barely breathe I was so nervous. I just passed the ball and didn't do much. My brother's friend pulled me aside and said "what the eff are you doing? I know you can play and you have a nice shot. Get out there and show them!" After that I went out there and when I got the ball. I shot and it was all net. Then I started playing "D" hard, boxing out and trying to go up for rebounds. Once I got comfortable and KNEW I could play with the boys my game was on point! I ended up with about 8 fouls(lol) and 12 points. But mostly I ended up believing in me.......CONFIDENCE!


By the way my mom was around the corner watching me and my brother's best friend was in on it!

5 comments:

Rich Fitzgerald said...

See...confidence is instilled.

Great post

Aretha said...

Yep, some people get it naturally and others have it instilled. I love this story!

Irene Robertson said...

Confidence is something that can be taken away by the people you lost the most. That is why I lacked confidence for a long time. When the people you love belittle and abuse you, it's hard to have self-esteem.

Video Vix[o]n said...

i have been lacking in confidence for a while, but something clicked in me the other day, tuesday actually, that i need to stop letting other lower my confidence and stand up for myself... i've endured a lot of people's shit for a long time, and i'm not taking it no more...

so basically, this post is appropriate to what i'm seeking right now...

chele said...

Your mom sounds awesome.

I totally agree with Irene. Sometimes even the most confident people can buckle under excessive criticism and abuse.