Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My Mom Always Told Me

My mom used to tell me the older you get you'll only have a handful of friends. When I was younger I don't know if I quite believed her since I always had a ton of friends. In elementary school I had so many friends that the principle called my mom into the office because she thought maybe I was a gang member and I was intimidating the kids to be my friends! Uhh no! In high school I had a ton of friends because I knew a lot of people and I played three sports. Even when I got to college I made a ton of friends. After graduation I kept in touch with a few people but it has dwindled. Life happens.

I still have my best friend from the first day of Montessori. Our birthdays are two days a part. She knows me in ways only a selected few do. She's never come to visit because she's terrified to leave her kids(even though she has a gem of a husband). That really doesn't matter. We speak almost every day even if it's only for 2 minutes. I've had numerous doctor's appointments for my ear in the last week and she calls to see what was said and what the next step is. She's the one who tells me I'm overreacting on something or someone. She's the calm practical side. At the end of the day she is my ace! I have a few others that are in my crew(as Kyle would say) Chad, Mica, Tam and Niles. These five are my PEOPLES! If I do something that don't like they check me, if there's something that seems off about our relationship..they ask me, if I let shit slide...they ask why? They are my checks and balances and I wouldn't have it any other way! I RIDE FOR THEM!

Since I joined Facebook I've become acquainted with many old friends and some new ones. I've been deleted as a "friend" four times. One because the dude was just an asshole, two my ex boyfriend's new gf broke into his FB and deleted almost all the women. He found out and friend requested us all again and dumped her ass! Three another ex boyfriend's fiancee' made him delete all ex girlfriends and he did...oh well! My last delete was by a woman who was my supposed friend. I haven't known this woman for a long period of time but I started to hang out and spend time with her and thought she was cool people. Apparently a situation took place and I stayed neutral so that wasn't good enough. I along with anyone she met thru me was deleted. I personally think that's some bitch ass shit.But hey if it makes her feel better then so be it! I think it's pretty sad that a grown ass woman thinks her behavior is ok. If that was someone from my crew they would have said "Shell xyz?" but to delete me and others who really had nothing to do with it. Is immature, petty and stupid. The funny thing is I was actually starting to consider this girl a friend but people ALWAYS show their ass after awhile. The funny thing is whatever was going on wasn't that serious. Let me rephrase that...it wasn't that serious to me! I personally have bigger things to worry about like how after more testing I lost some more hearing in my left ear and now some in my right. How I have to get a Cat Scan and how the doctor is talking about cutting into my damn brain. That's what the fuck I'm worried about. How my mom is having knee replacement surgery next Thursday but wants to cancel it so she can be here with me for my scan. Knowing damn well she needs the surgery because she is now walking around bone on bone! That's the shit I'm worried about! Not about why some immature person deleted me and didn't have the balls to come and say "blah blah blah." But just like my mom always told me.....you'll only have a handful of friends! Boy she ain't neva lied!

How many of us have them
The ones we can depend on
How many of us have them


dessex said...

Thank you for stopping by...but I must say we have beef already because I am a big Duke basketball fan lol....its all in good fun.

But I think a lot of people use the word friend so freely. I have people that I know and are cool with but then I have a few people that I trust that I can consider a friend. As you get older you find out who your true friends really are. And only 7 people that I know and trust can get that title. People come and go, but a true friend will be there no matter what.

Great post.

Anonymous said...

The internet isn't good for friendships. It takes away the personal aspect of it. Things often get taken out of context and you may be taking things the wrong way. I don't know. It's not my business. But I know that I've had things I've said taken the wrong way and then the situation got all out of control.

You should talk to this "friend" face to face. You don't want to lose a potential lifetime friendship for a simple misunderstanding.

That's all I got.

So when's the next party?

ShellyShell said...

@ D Thanks for stopping by! Too bad you're a Duke a fan! I will be talking much shyt to you during the season when my boys win yet another National Championship. LOL!

I completely agree with you!

@Irene I'm not taking anything the wrong way. I was deleted and so were the people that she knew thru me! That shit is DELIBERATE! I know it sounds harsh but I'm NOT chasing after anyone to ask why you deleted me. If it was that important that "friend" (used very lightly) would have come to me and said "XYZ." Oh well....
We're going to Soda Saturday night for Keana's birthday!!

Anonymous said...


Please don't hit me.

It was just a thought. :P

Soda...what time?

ShellyShell said...

@ Irene 10:30-11!

12kyle said...

Deleted off facebook? Wow! That's bugged out! That's petty

It's like you say...you've got bigger issues to worry about. Hope you DON'T need surgery. You'll see the crew will get closer to you in tough times. That's the way it's 'sposed to be!

dejanae said...

now arent u just happy she showed her true colors this early
she mighta pulled some stunt like this when after u had gotten attached

Ms. T said...

I learned as well your friends change when you get older. as well as the type of men or women you choose to date.

Become a follower

Thanks Ms.T

Anonymous said...

Your mother was right! *lol* My circle was definitely decreased as I've gotten older. The number of friends I have is directly proportional to the amount of bullsh*t that I will tolerate. Very low tolerance equals very few friends. The ones I have? Tried and true, down til the end.

The Black Kat said...

Thanks for sharing this post. As I was reading it, I was nodding my head in agreement.

My circle has definitely decreased in size as I've gotten older. For a while there, I was questioning myself as to whether there was something wrong with ME, or something I was or wasn't doing. But when you assess the BS people dish out & they still want you to call tehm a friend (and put up with it, or not check them on it)... you really do have to stop & re-evaluate or cut your losses. I'm a fan of the latter, as of late. Because just like you said, I've got bigger things on my plate to worry about. Especially when folks won't communicate what their issue is in the 1st place.